Women and Sex remain the best sellers ever

Recently, accusations were made against senior political leaders in the South Indian state of Kerala of having received sexual favours in turn for granting solar projects. It included the Chief Minister Oomen Chandy, ministers Shibu Baby John, AP Anil Kumar and  legislator Haibi Eden. Saritha S Nair who is at the heart of the controversy denied the allegations made by her former business partner Biju Radhakrishnan before the Solar Panel investigating into the scam that rocked Kerala.

Kiss of Love
The couples who created a storm last year with the Kiss of Love campaign asserting their right to kiss in public and protest against moral policing have now been arrested for child sex trafficking and an online sex racket. Resmi S Nair, a model pointed out that after the fallout of the Kiss of Love campaign, she was being used by her husband to indulge in various sex rackets.

Sex & Women sell
Naturally, enough  the social media, whatsapp, electronic and print media immediately carry and share such stories with prominence because ultimately se and women sell better. In this backdrop, I saw a sensible post from Manu Kappan, my friend, in Face Book.

Here I quote Manu :

Kiss of Love, Prostitution and Moral Policing
Kiss of Love : 10 participants and 1 million spectators and I belong to neither and I can’t be bothered.

Prostituition : Its the oldest profession in the world and will exist as long as the world does. As long as the parties involved are consenting adults, none of my business.

Moral Policing : To put it crudely “morality flows out when someone is not getting it” or simply its a case of sour grapes. When I read the comments of certain people on social media, the only things I can see are sexual depravation and cultural poverty. For them women can never be persons with mind and emotions, but only body parts. The main reason for this cultural poverty is that they lived in a segregated society and only leered at women from a distance. The only thing I want to tell you people is that the minds of the younger generation who grow up mingling with each other are nowhere as dirty as yours.

I agree with some of the observations of Manu but not all. That concerns prostitution and position women occupy in Indian society. I have read the autobiography of some eminent men like distinguished diplomat KPS Menon who himself admits to having gone before marriage for one such adventure to get a feel of it.  I can’t understand how someone can be put to such hardship either because men and even boys need to get a taste of sex first before marriage or want to have a different feel  sharing bed with their wives . It is hard to believe that these women chose the profession willingly. Or is the society thinking how painful or drudgery it could be to undress before several men in their lives without a feeling of love?

And despite the huge market for prostitutes women and girls who lead normal lives are also targeted and Nirbhaya of Delhi, ‘Suryanelli’ girl in Kerala who continue to be harassed but non-sexually are all grim reminders of this.

The other day, I was discussing with a friend- Indian cannot improve if it refuses to change its attitude to women. We have a national pledge that says  India is our country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters. And After all a boy or a girl, all come from a women’s womb, conceived taken care and delivered with much pain and risk. Anthropologically, speaking human child birth appears more riskier than others in the animal kingdom because our bi-pedal posture. Hence we should be grateful we were born in the first place. How come that we are not able to make our girls bold, get boys to respect them and acknowledge that they too should be granted liberty just as men?

Sex should be seen as an intimate, consensual affair between two closely known people and which should not be discussed with others. However, when there is an element of force is involved and against the wishes of the woman- that’s when the law has to intervene. However, men are still free to rape their wives, as per a recent court order!

Here is my wish list with respect to women & sex
Decades ago I remmber Sunday magazine carrying a cover story on sex starved Indians. However, with economic growth and perhaps the influence of media, men-women relations have become more liberal & a bit permissive. However, the society continues to grapple with the man-women relationship issue and how it should be defined.

In this backdrop, here is my wishlist on how our attitude to women, girls and sex in general can be changed:

1) People should stop discussing about sex openly or giving undue importance for it in the media.
2) Boys need to be taught at a young age to respect girls and women. They are not objects to be pounced upon,  nudged, beaten or harassed.
3) An effort has to be made to reduce and do away with prostitution. It’s true that many women and girls who were rescued tend to return may be because their minds have become empty enough to think about any other worthwhile profession.
4) Those using social media should ensure that they don’t share or spread pictures, stories that demean women.

(I have published this blog deliberately with out pictures as I don't to want to attract any reader attention based on the graphics or pictures)

Ultimate Whatsappian Guide for everyday living!

By Sreekumar Raghavan

At the time of writing this several millions became Whatsappians, some said holiday to it and was back but still others not knowing how to fruitfully utilize this mixed blessing.

Whatsapp is indeed a user-friendly social communication tool to be engaged in groups, one-to-one communications and even broadcast messages to a wider group which an ordinary phone cannot provide.

If it is consuming too much of your time, then the following tips may help you:

@Keep Limits on Whatsapp Use: Whatsapp is live 24 hours of the day, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep it on most of the time. Work hours, time with family, reading hours, serious TV watching can be hampered if Whatsapp is on.  Dip into Whatsapp at leisurely hours and if possible keep its usage to 1 or 2 hours a day.

@Avoid Whatsapp use when small children are around: Children often complain about excessive use of Whatsapp by parents and unable to get the attention they need. It would be better to avoid or restrict use of Whatsapp when your children are around.

@Keep Group notifications muted: It is natural that you could be part of several Whatsapp groups which constantly engage in conversations and sharing of pictures, video. It is better to keep group notifications ‘off’ and read the notifications or comment when you have time for it.

@Diversion technique: if you feel like opening your Whatsapp, divert your attention to something else that requires some effort- for example, reading, re-arranging books, clothes, cleaning the room,  playing with your children.

@Leave Groups that are irrelevant for you: At some point of time being part of a group may have been relevant. But if you have left the organization or the club, you can very well exit from the group and save the misery of getting useless updates from them.

@Keep conversations private: Be careful not to post personal messages in groups and messages meant for one group in another. This happens when you are stressed out due to too much Whatsapp and FB exposure.

@Inform Whatsappians about your holidays: if you are taking leave Whatsapp for a while, inform fellow Whatsappians so that they will SMS or call you in case of urgency or emergency.

@Whatsapp @work. Some companies now create Whatsapp groups for people with in the same department or holding similar functions. It is better for the group admin to evolve rules on what ought to be communicated or shared and how frequently one should look for updates and respond.  If a particular message is addressed to you or related to the work you are doing, you need to respond  as early as possible.

@Report Abuse: It is not uncommon for women to get threatening, abusive messages on Whatsapp  from people they may not be very familiar with. It is better to block such people in your mobile or  report abusive behaviour to Police and get the issue redressed. It is better to keep your profile  pictures and other information accessible only to your friends and not to public.

@Double Tick no response: Some times you find a double tick for your Whatsapp message but your

  friend hasn't read it. It doesn't mean you are being ignored, it may be because they are busy or

  travelling and not able to access Whatsapp properly. If it's an urgent message call them up and ask

 whether they have seen the message.

@General Rules: Don’t share credit card, bank account details or personal details in groups as  security could be compromised.

Reunion and the life travelogue!

By Sreekumar Raghavan

Life is short and school years are even shorter in the overall journey of life. Many cherish the school memories more as it was our first opportunity to socialize, be released from the comforts of home and parents.

Getting back to much quoted Robert Frost. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, some of us were mere followers, some took the road less travelled and what difference does that make? Life is not a laboratory, sometimes crisis emerges at point blank range, decide now or never.

There was this friend who lost his parents at a young age, gets married to a rich family, makes plenty of money dispensing medicine, ultimately turns to his age-old passion –music. His melody resonates in YouTube, and wherever he goes.  Song is his expression of life.

When Aryans of 1985 reunited on Aug 22, 2015 in Trivandrum
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We lost a dear friend who possibly drowned his worries in liquor. Society has no obligation to save anyone unless they are willing to. Life is also about encountering distractions- and how not to get lured.

 I met another who walked out of a relationship thinking it wouldn’t work. Is he happy being alone? Still a few didn’t reach anywhere. Many took the road more frequented- studied, got a job, married…had children…and more predictable things to happen.

How do you assess success and failure in life? Is it money, riches, fame, popularity, having children, their career success? Or is it having good relationships? Success is based on going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm-Churchill.

The reunions are a message- the real value is in relationships, relating with one another and sharing. One kid was seen light heartedly lamenting on Whatsapp taking away her mother’s time. Technology is a binding factor but also a distracting one!

Looking back on a lonely ride back in a train, I wondered where am I in the overall scheme of things- successful, famous, happy, rich, wealthy…? May be I have a bite of everything but the best way to forget this is all is to keep working! Life is not a bed of roses, neither is it full of thorns.

Bollywood Dance: Healthy mix of music, dance and fitness!

By Sreekumar Raghavan

What draws huge crowds to theatres showing bollywood films across the world? It is an intelligent mixture of drama, love, songs, action, climax, superstars, sex and above all some good dance sequences influenced by the western and eastern styles.

Anupama Thampy, accomplished dnacer & trainer at Beats 'n' Steps________________________________________________________

For the same reason, bollywood dance is now being enjoyed by a large number of youngsters who want a change from the typical classical numbers or the liberal western styles.


According to Anupama Thampy, an accomplished classical and bollywood dancer, instructor at Beats ‘n’ Steps, a dance-fitness studio in South Kalamassery, Kochi, there are several reasons why Bollywood dance is appealing for the youth:

1)It’s a fusion of classical, semi classical, Indian folk, belly dance, hip hop, jazz and accompanying music is both eastern and contemporary

2)It’s so easy to learn for beginners

3) It’s fun and laughter
4) Choreographer controls the theme and mood of the song- it could be classical, semi-classical, western , fusion, traditional or sexy
5)It’s a great stress reliever due to the fun and entertainment involved in the songs and music

6)It burns calories faster and is ideal for body toning

7) Ideal for stage programmes too



Evolution of Bollywood dance

Anupama Thampy, equally at ease with contemporary, classical and bollywood!

Bollywood dancers can be at ease in both traditional saris and western wear
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Bollywood dance has evolved over the years since it became popular in movies in the 1950’s and 60’s with classical and semi-classical themes. The cabaret style shot into mainstream in the seventies and thereafter the free style dance became popular with actors such as Govinda developing their signature style.

No wonder, successful actors in Bollywood needed to be good dancers too.
So what’s stopping you, put on your dancing shoes and shed all your inhibitions. Listen to the music and what was the most recent hit movie: ABCD (Any Body Can Dance)!

Bharatanatyam for art, fitness and appealing to menfolk as well

 By Sreekumar Raghavan

What comes to your mind when you hear Bharatanatyam- classical, traditional, artistic? It may be true that not many know the fitness and wellness dimensions of this ancient dance form.

Bharatanatyam originated more than 2000 years ago in Tamil Nadu and was originally performed by dasis (maid servants) in temples and  it was known as Dasiyattam. It was in the 1930’s the legendary Balasaraswati, a Devadasi was invited to perform on stage before an elite educated class. Rukmani Devi became the first of the educated elite to learn Bharatanatyam under the guidance of Balasaraswati.



Anupama Thampy, Accomplished dancer, trainer at Beats 'n' Steps
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The Art of Bharatanatyam
There could be no other versatile dance form as Bharatanatyam. Bha denotes Bhava (emotion), ra denotes raga or music and ta means tala or rhythm and natyam means dance. Apart from bringing out the artist in you, Bharatanatyam is also capable of helping you maintain your body shape, health and vitality, says Anupama Thampy, accomplished stage performer and dance guru at Beats ‘n’ Steps, a dance fitness studio based in South Kalamassery, Kochi.

According to renowned dancer Anjali Nandan, learning Bharatanatyam and classical dance forms are very important to understand the essence of dance.

Bharatanatyam: The Fitness, wellness dimension
Bharatanatyam is capable of improving your fitness, concentration, memory power, weight maintenance, beauty and overall wellness.

It helps achieve overall balance, boosts memory power through remembering of steps, mudras, hastas and Karnas. Regular practice of Bharatanatyam will have the combined effect of doing aerobics, floor and stretching excercises and yoga. It’s good for a healthy heart as the feel good factor boosts blood circulation and keeps your skin toned and young.



Anupama Thampy, performing Bharatatatyam at Changampuzha Park in Kochi in 2014_________________________________________________________

Dances are proven to be useful for right-left brain co-ordination and hence helpful for children to do better in studies and improve their intelligence.

Bharatanatyam for menfolk
If you thought Bharatanatyam and Indian classical dances are a woman’s domain, you are mistaken. At the recent  Monsoon Festival of Dance on July 16-17 at New Delhi, four male artistes of Bharatanatyam proved how they too can make a mark.

"It is a misconception that classical dance is meant only for women and is effeminate. Indian classical dance is suitable not only for the female body, but for everyone," says S Vijay Kumar, an exponent of the classical tradition from Tamil Nadu.

And the best time to start learning Bharatanatyam no doubt is at a young age, preferably 7-8. So get your kids to put on the anklets and learn the first steps towards mastering this classical wonder.

Try combo dance routines, to keep boredom away!

By Sreekumar Raghavan

It is often said familiarity breeds contempt and this applies to many things in life including fitness and dance routines. Many a time, people simply abandon their walking, jogging, gym workouts mid-way just because it becomes monotonous and becomes just another daily routine.

In a day filled with work, family and social activities it may not be easy to juggle different fitness activities together. However, dance based fitness routines enable trying out different, exciting formats a week , get better results in terms of wellness, calories and overall health.

Prasanth S, Co-Founder and Director of Beats ‘n’ Steps, a dance fitness studio who pioneered this concept  said that although aerobics, Zumba Fitness and bollywood dance follow different steps and styles, they are essentially about music and dance with Zumba workouts being the most tiresome burning out more calories than the rest. Those afraid of falling into a routine and getting bored with dance-fitness routines can try out a combo of Aerobics, Zumba and Bollywood and get better results, he added.

However, he cautioned that fitness enthusiasts should opt for fitness centes that provide quality, licensed instructors in all the three disciplines. 

Aswathy Visweswaran, Co-Founder of Beats ‘n’ Steps pointed out that from a trainer’s perspective it is a challenge to master different routines but Zumba itself is an amalgamation of Merengue, Salsa, Bachata and Regaetton , hence it is good if trainers get additional training in those styles too. “ Hence I am going for Salsa training to further improve my Zumba skills,” she added. However, from a practitioners’s perspective it is great to do different styles to attain wellness and hence the introduction of combo routines.


Aerobics Dance
It is a great way to maintain your body shape and it’s lot of fun too, according to Seema Subodh, Reebok Certified Aerobics trainer at Beats ‘n’ Steps.  It should begin with a warm up, followed by  high impact and a cool down  and it is ideal for kids and teens. Fun, Excitement, music and fitness are the hall marks of Aerobics programme.

Zumba Fitness

Zumba is a intensive workout that last for an hour daily and helps you burn more calories, keep your skin smooth and youthful, according to Aswathy Visweswarn, ZIN (Zumba Instructor Network). It can make amazing changes in your life not only in terms of weight maintenance but help you indulge in your favourite foods without being bothered about counting calories.

Bollywood Dance
The dances are a fusion of traditional and classical Indian dances with the influence of some jazz, hip-hop and modern dance. Timing and Rhythm, engery, and sharp controlled expressive movements are the important elements of Bollywood Dancing!  According to Anupama, accomplished dancer and instructor at Beats ‘n’ Steps, it’s a whole some offering that helps to bring out the dancing talents in you with enjoyable songs and music.

(For details regarding Dance-Fitness combo programs: mailto : prasant4444@yahoo.co.in)

Kerala’s obsession with the Salute and the Police uniform?

The two top controversies now being discussed in news papers both relate to Police- one the lapse of the part of a senior Police Officer who failed to salute the home minister at a passing out parade at the Police Academy  in Thrissur and the other the Ernakulam District Collector wearing his wife’s police uniform at home that appeared as a feature in a leading newspaper.

In the case of RishiRaj Singh, ADGP and senior IPS officer, he may not have seen Home Minister Ramesh Chennithala entering from behind the stage as the passing out parade of constables had already begun. Rishi Raj Singh also said that as per convention dignitaries on the dais stand up only when national anthem is played during passing out parade. Moreover he was only an invitee to the function.

People suspected motives behind Rishi Raj Singh’s apparent  ‘disrespect’ shown towards Home Minister at a public function as he was recently removed as Chief Vigilance Commissioner  from Kerala State Electricity Board for booking a corporate house for power theft in the state capital.
Strangely, Home Minister Ramesh Chennithala has no complaint against the police official leaving it to  DGP Mr T P Senkumar to decide.However, other ministers and politicians have taken up the issue saying that his conduct would foster indiscipline in the Police!

The salute itself is a vestige of the British rule and you can find constables at police stations been forced to life a heavy rifle to salute their senior officers each time they arrive and depart to the station. Some sensible officers have already suggested the removal of this colonial practice which is cumbersome for the newly appointed women constables too.

District Collector wears Police uniform

M G Rajamanickam, who was adjudged the Best District Collector in 2014 is now being criticised for wearing his wife’s police uniform for a human interest story in a leading newspaper. His wife Nishanthini, an IPS officer  is also a popular police officer  having served in Ernakulam and Thrissur districts.

It may be recalled that Mr Rajamanickam was awarded for his exemplary work in Kochi Metro, Airport Seaport Road and launching novel projects such as Bhoomigeetham.

The State Government has issued a warning against the District Collector for the impropriety shown in wearing police uniform.  The crux of the newspaper feature was that Rajamanickam, an IAS officer was more fond of wearing police uniform while his police officer wife was interested in being an IAS official.

The public, the government officials and policy makers who have described the conduct as improper hasn’t questioned the motive of a leading newspaper in doing this story. Moreover, the collector did not appear in public in police uniform and the public wouldn’t have known unless the paper carried the story!

Kerala’s policy makers, the public and officials spend several reams of paper , correspondence and discussion on a topic that is neither socially relevant nor important leaving no time for developmental and social work to take place. 

How long will the electorate suffer all this in silence?